Sunday, June 2, 2019
By:
Dear reader,
Do you think I deserve this position? Would you credit my landing this internship to my hard work? If you were me, would you be congratulating yourself?
During the application process, I did not believe I was qualified for this position. I felt guilty asking my mentors for letters of recommendation—surely my application would not be taken seriously. Surely I was not going to land an interview.
I landed an interview, and then I landed the job. It… did not feel real. It is only now, here at the American Center for Physics, that I am able to fully comprehend what has happened. I got here! I am the person my younger self dreamed of becoming! So, now that I have digested these facts, I have some reflections on my journey thus far.
While I was hired because of my experiences and abilities, my whiteness cannot be separated from my path here. Even though my parents were low-income, they were not discriminated against by landlords or loan providers; this meant I was able to grow up adjacent to affluent white communities and attend a well-funded public school. I was given access to the world of powerful people. I was exposed to lessons on how to talk like a professional, how to navigate college, how to build my network. I know how to navigate white spaces (spaces where power is concentrated), and it does not take a significant toll on me to do so.
What about the people who were dealt a different hand? Would you call them less deserving? Should we grant them access to our world of free coffee and lunchtime plenaries and workplace friendships?
While I want to give myself credit for landing this position, I know I cannot take full credit for where I am in life. I need all the other people that applied to this internship and did not receive an offer to know that they are valuable. I need all of us who have been given a clear path to safety and security to know that we are responsible for the wellbeing of our siblings without safety.
Fellow physicists, what role has power played in your life? What lies have you been told about yourself? How does your work uphold these lies, and how will you seek the truth? I am still searching for a picture of the world that includes us all, that showcases our full range of humanity. Please, search with me. Show me your path.
If any of what I have said resonates with you, please reach out to me. I genuinely want to learn from your perspective, dear reader. We have so much to teach each other.
With love,
Anna Perry